January 2011
7 posts
resolve.
this year, i want to live a lot more like the life i desire for myself.
which is mostly, not to be caught up in any rat race, any fool’s quest or delight in any sort of victories that will end up pyrrhic.
all it takes, i think, is to not want so much of false accoutrements, and to care less about fleeting accolades.
to live a lot a lot a lot more like a poet and a pilgrim, to write...
a good life.
i wish there was still a way for the little people to be happy and carefree in this world.
when i heard the song, sang live, on a sunday morning when i was exhausted and feverish, i felt tears rushing to my eyes. because i haven’t slept in days and i don’t know how far responsibility has to go.
i don’t want to be anything more than what i am, not now. and the most important...
destinations.
annapurna circuit, nepal
torres del paine, chile
kilimanjaro, tanzania
easter island, chile
flaming cliffs, mongolia
i want to travel forever!
the last goodbye.
early this week, i saw my first, my only batch of graduating students receive their results.
i was happy for them, but very sad at the same time, because i don’t know that i’ll love another bunch of students as much as i loved them.
when i was in melbourne, i remember walking on the cliffs, looking out at the twelve apostles and thinking of how much i wanted to bring a group of...
she's waiting there for you.
we’re going to africa! we will trek above the clouds on kilimanjaro, hug cheetah cubs (if mommy cheetah lets me) in the serengeti and sip beer in zanzibar!
i’ve been ridiculously excited the entire afternoon and evening, something ning found very very very curious.
but i love africa! of the thousand places i want to visit, africa is the fondest. i want to wear a panama hat, a safari...
daydreams.
A puzzle:
A box contains an unknown number of pebbles, each marked either X, Y or Z. You do not know the exact numbers of X, Y, and Zs, but you know that number of X > Z > Y. You must now sort them into groups with the following conditions:
Each group must not have more than 8 members.
Each group must contain at least 2 Ys.
Each group must contain at least 1, but not more...
December 2010
8 posts
this year
i resolve to:
one. exercise more frequently. two swims, one gym, and one tennis session per week.
two. be kinder to others, not only in actions, but in thoughts.
three. eat more foie gras. just because this will probably be the only resolution i achieve ^.^
happy new year!
the year of magical thinking
i had no inkling that things could start, happen and end this way.
a crazy, amazing, fascinatingly perfect start crumbled into half despair and half desperation and then quite unexpectedly, things came together in a way that can only be because there is goodness in the world.
the new responsibilities i worried about a year ago seem infinitely small now. what’s one project committee over...
house-warmed
our living room is a whirlwind of presents and wrappers from the party but we’re stoked!
i’ve always been a bit of a reluctant host, especially since my friends don’t tend to come in nice big groups who know each other. so i’m very moved by the fact that half my guests came without knowing that they knew anyone else! but the best part is, most of them left knowing someone...
all the other lives.
shattered lights in smoke and mirrors,
infinite worlds,
what-ifs, spill from cracks in the surface,
tension, undercurrents of choices,
i breathe,
brush past spirits of all the other lives,
i am here,
a moment,
the future halves.
is. is not.
is.
now.
i love.
poetry. magic. good people. reading. adventures. sun and sky. tea. white. swimming. the ocean. kittens. orange. home. writing. thinking. travelling.
you.
the night is young, and so are we.
it’s hard to articulate what i feel now, mostly because this has been such a long time coming.
actually. i haven’t stopped smiling since the end of the meeting and a few friends have since received elated messages with many exclamation marks.
i’m happy!!! beyond words and punctuation!!! i’m going to swim fifty laps to celebrate!
just, in the end, they came through for...
n.e. moment of the year
d: no matter what, remember that singapore is only a small island
yx: but it’s my home.
we loved every bit of kangaroo island and everywhere we’ve been :)
November 2010
11 posts
melbourne, 28.11.10
we decided that an equitable distribution of work would be me writing about the day while ning cooks us a late night meal (it’s almost midnight here and i love my husband!)
we mostly slept the day away. after landing in a cold and drizzly melbourne at six in the morning, we proceeded to my brothers’ (suprisingly) luxurious apartment to find one very neat and clean room, and the other...
changi, 27.11.10
due to an insanely long queue at check-in (where i complained incessantly to ning how the counters were under-staffed and australia had a silly immigration policy anyway), we were left with hardly any time for dinner by the time we went into the (still) sparkling new gates at t3.
i bought some sushi which were quick to buy and quick to eat while ning got some dim sum thingies which were less...
last minute.
last night, after finally deciding on some of the things we might do around melbourne, the time came for us to make bookings for the accommodation.
so both of us trudged out from the bedroom, i opened my little spreadsheet (which was mostly empty) and i think both of us sighed.
then ning said, let’s not book anything accommodation this time. we’ll just see what’s available...
all i want
i hugged every one of my closer colleagues, my friends resolutely tonight.
because, i really don’t know.
i say to them, see you next year.
but i don’t know.
and it’s a little hard, like this. i hope, i hope for what i want, but also, as i sat at the table and watched the night pass, with drinks and laughter and cheers, i know i will miss so much.
at the end of the night,...
tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?
some of the best, fondest memories in my life are those when i strayed off the beaten track (alone in a desert of stars, in a canyon carved by ancient caravans), wandered (found the sea by chasing the wind), got lost (scarves and boots in late november, running to catch the last bus in new york) and found myself (one piece at a time)
it makes smile with a peculiar type of happiness at how crazy i...
上善若水, 水善利万物而不争
from the most recent committee of supply debates by minister khaw boon wan.
I visited one couple in my house-to-house visit in Sembawang. She is a Malay lady in her early 50s. The husband, heavily diabetic, both legs amputated, on wheelchair when I visited them. She has been looking after the husband for more than 10 years. When I saw them, she explained to me how she coped with great...
confession.
i enjoy this.
i feel like i’m pushing at the boundaries of my own intellectual capacity everyday. (for one, i realise how hard it actually is to draw those fancy diagrams so that they are more than just fancy diagrams)
i get to do some of my favorite things: read, think, write, analyze, discuss.
i can bring my work everywhere with me, in my head, in my thoughts, like a passion i...
October 2010
19 posts
curiouser and curiouser.
it’s funny, strange, and not altogether unwelcomed when an odd reprieve comes your way.
it is still what i want, very much, so i am not complaining about the renewed hope (though how i can accomplish anything stellar in this short period remains to be seen)
but just, in some ways, i wish i knew if there would be a goodbye, and when it would be so i can say it properly.
it’s very...
that was you and me.
i wish it was cold, now.
not just because it was a particularly blazing day today, and the heat was quite quite suffocating. but just because, it’s october.
i label my months and seasons, and i’ve always loved fall. romantic fall. efficient fall. perfect season of loss and beauty and tangled feelings.
the leaves should be golden red outside my window; i should be reaching for my...
curious cuts
when i first moved into my harvard apartment, i started discovering random little cuts around the strangest places on my body (back of my elbow, inside of my wrist und so weiter).
strangely! it’s happening again. i was telling ning that after we moved in, i started having odd little cuts on my wrist, near my heel and across my ankle among other places.
curiouser and curiouser.
Looking forward to the next tennis lesson, horseriding and sailing! :)
hearts.
i know, we are supposed to be impartial, and i try hard, in my words and deeds to be so.
but secretly in my heart, i confess, you are my favorite class.
perhaps it’s the history—you were the very first class i taught.
perhaps it’s the way you made me feel like a real teacher—i could plan all manners of strange and fun things, and know that you would be interested and...
sunset
the ipod plays while i cook and i hear so many strains of memories.
it’s cold, in november, in quebec—the roads impossibly snowy. before that, we spoke of sunsets, mid-autumns on harvard bridge and i remember how i felt then—i thought i would never have you. that night, i walked home with a light drizzle on me and the notes of that song on house repeated, in my ears, in my...
i accept.
the opportunities and challenges both.
mostly because, i feel profoundly that this is God’s will.
i have been asking, mostly after realizing that the real question is not whether or not one who is blessed is deserving, but rather if all who are deserving are blessed.
i think, not all. because some of the blessings are for man to pass on.
and now, i have my answer.
God says: I have...
yes, we are.
sailing to nongsa, confirmed.
ppcdl, confirmed.
tickets to melbourne, confirmed.
yay!
can't hardly wait
viennaboyschoir.davewang.cellolessons.again.
sailing.horseriding.
pompeiilectures.ppcdl.
partnersinharmony.eventmanagement.
nongsa.stables.melbourne.
bliss on a saturday is: a morning swim, reading the economist while in the bath and spending time with the parents :)
September 2010
27 posts
breathe.
i’ve missed this. white sprays of rain broken and suspended in the air, in a moment; glints of orange street lamps on the black grills on the pavement; hurried click of heels on the dark wet concrete; hair drenched, plastered to cheek. i look in the faces of the passerbys. she tucks her hair into her hood as she slips by me. his blue umbrella bends funnily in one corner. and it’s us and we, so...
this was me, this is still me
i missed gym today because! of all silly and ridiculous reasons for staying up late last night, i was DANCING. after downloading the ‘o’ album from cirque du soleil, i was so taken with the music that i started dancing (or more accurately prancing idiotically since i have zero dance training) around my living area. this i did for half an hour before my ankle started hurting again at...
